guyonan suroboyo

Wonokairun & Bunali – Turunan

Isuk-isuk wong sak bonbin gupuh kuabeh krungu berita ono gajah matek mergo wis tuwek.
Masio kulite kisut keriput tapi bobote ono lek 2 ton.

Brudin sing biasane dodolan es gronjong nang bon-bin sakno ndelok Mbah Wonokairun nuangis mbrebes mili.

“Wis tah Mbah, gak usah athik mbrebes mili. Aku iso ngrasakno yok opo susahe berpisah ambek gajah sing sampeyan openi pirang puluh taun. Opomaneh umure sampeyan ambek gajah iku yo sak pantaran, mestine akeh kenangan manise yo.  Tapi wis gak usah sedih mbah, lak sik ono gajah liyane sing lucu-lucu.” jarene Brudin.

“He cak, aku iki dhudhu pawange gajah!!!! Ngawur ae!!!!” jarene Wonokairun.

“Lho lek sampeyan dhudhu pawange gajah, laopo sampeyan athik nuangis mbrebes mili barang.  Sejatine sampeyan iki apane gajah?? koncone opo dulure??” jarene Brudin.

“Aku iki tukang gali kuburan, isuk-isuk durung sarapan wis dikongkon ngeduk kuburan, tibake kuburane gajah…” Wonokairun nangis maneh.

“Wis mbah ojo nangis maneh, iki lho tak gawekno es gronjong, gratis wis.” Jare Brudin.

Mari ngombe rong gelas, Wonokairun wis gak nangis maneh.

“Kon kok apikan nggawekno es gronjong gratis, koyok wong sugih ae.” Jare Wonokairun.

“Lho ojo salah mbah, aku iki pancene keturunane wong sugih, dhuwike mbahku iku cukup gawe tujuh turunan.” Jare Brudin bangga.

“Gombal!!!, lek pancene kon iku turunane wong sugih, laopo saiki dhodolan es gronjong??” jare Wonokairun.

“Soale aku keturunan sing ke wolu….”

bbm group: IKA ITS PTSP
shared by om ‘Yat
my note: hehehhee.. the last one for today jokes… can’t wait for the next om ^^

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guyonan suroboyo

Wonokairun & Bunali – Untu

Wonokairun loro untu lungo nang dokter gigi konco lawase jenenge Bunali.
“Waduh mbah, untu sampeyan kudhu dicabut…” jare Bunali.
“Yo wis jabuten ae ben ndang waras” jare Wonokairun.

Mari dijabut Bunali takok “Wis gak loro maneh mbah?”
“Iyo wis enak saiki, piro ongkose dok?” Wonokairun takok.
“Wis gak usah mbayar mbah, gratis ae” jare Bunali.

“Waduh suwun suwun,… tak dungakno sampeyan mlebu suargo” jare Wonokairun.

Pas nang omah Wonokairun ngoco, langsung nggeblak semaput.
Tibake sing dijabut iku untu emase.

bbm group: IKA ITS PTSP
shared by om ‘Yat
my note: -___-“

guyonan suroboyo

Wonokairun & Bunali – Sepur

Wonokairun teko nang stasiun Gubeng, pethukan ambek Brudin dhodholan es.
“Din, sepur nang jakarta wis liwat tah?” takok Wonokairun.
“Wah telat sampeyan mbah, wis budhal jam pitu mau…” jare Brudin.
“Lek sepur nang banyuwangi wis liwat tah durung…? takok Wonokairun.
“Lho sik tas ae Mbah, kiro-kiro sepulung menit kepungkur…” jare Brudin.
“Lek sepur sing nang semarang wis liwat tah durung…?” takok Wonokairun.
‎​”Oooh lek iku mengo awan jam rolas budhale. Sik tah Mbah, ben sepur sampeyan takokno!! Sampeyan iku sakjane arep nang endhi?” Brudin bingung.
“Arep nyabrang…”

bbm group: IKA ITS PTSP
shared by om ‘Yat
my note: wakakakkakka

guyonan suroboyo

Wonokairun & Bunali – Kerjo

Isuk-isuk Wonokairun pethukan ambek Brudin budhal kerjo.

“Wuik gaya rek . .saiki areke jaketan rek.” jare Wonokairun.
“Iyo mbah, saiki aku kerjo nang nggon adem” jare Brudin.
“Ketrimo nang kantor endhi Din?” jare Wonokairun.
“Aku gak kerjo nang kantor mbah.” jare Brudin.
“Nang endhi lho??” takok Wonokairun.
“Nang pabrik es batu…”

bbm group: IKA ITS PTSP
shared by om ‘Yat
my note: hahhahahhahha

guyonan suroboyo

Wonokairun & Bunali – Bronpit

Wonokairun kepingin ngojek, soale lek mbecak royokan penumpang kalah terus.
Isuk-isuk Wonokairun wis sliwar-sliwer belajar numpak bronpit.
Lagek mlaku sedhiluk, dhadhak wis dicegat pulisi.
Tibake pulisine ikut Bunali, tonggone dhewe.

“Mbah, tulung ndelok SIM ambek STNKne!” jare Bunali.
“Ono nang dompetku” jare Wonokairun.
“Lek aku mbadhek, sampeyan mesti lali nggak nggowo SIM” jare Bunali.
Mari buka dompet ambek rogoh-rogoh kesak, tibake temenan Wonokairun lalu nggak nggowo SIM.
‎​”Waduh iyo, aku lali nggak nggowo SIM…” jare Wonokairun.
“Lek ngono sampeyan kudhu tak tilang Mbah” jare Bunali.
“Kon ojo athik ngelamak ambek aku lho yo!!!.  Sik tas lulus Watukosek ae wis kemenyek atene nilang!! Gak isok!!!” Wonokairun nguamuk.

Timbangane gegeran, akhire Bunali ngalah, Wonokairun diculno gak sidho ditilang.

Sisuke Wonokairun belajar bronpit maneh.
Lagek mlaku sedhiluk, dhadhak wis dicegat Bunali maneh.

“Mbah, tulung ndelok SIM ambek STNKne!” jare Bunali.
“Ono nang dompetku” jare Wonokairun.
“Lek aku mbadhek, sampeyan mesti lali nggowo STNK” jare Bunali.
Mari buka dompet ambek rogoh-rogoh kesak, tibake temenan Wonokairun lalu nggak nggowo STNK.
“Waduh iyo, aku lali nggak nggowo STNK…” jare Wonokairun.
“Lek ngono sampeyan kudhu tak tilang Mbah, iki wis ping pindho sampeyan pelanggaran” jare Bunali.
“Gak isok!!!! Tak pongor mencelat mbalik nang watukosek kon yo!!!” Wonokairun nguamuk maneh.

Timbangane gegeran, akhire Bunali ngalah, Wonokairun diculno maneh gak sidho ditilang.

Sisuke Wonokairun belajar bronpit maneh, saiki wis wani rodho adhoh.
Bareng mlaku wis oleh 5 km, dhadhak pethuk Bunali maneh.

“Ayo minggir!!!, Aku saiki wis gak lali, STNK, SIM lengkap kuabeh.  Iki lho dheloken,  helm, jaket ambek sarung tanganku yo anyar kuabeh.  Hayo kate lapo kon!!!” jare Wonokairun suombong.
“Yo wis mbah, aku yo gak katene nilang sampeyan, tapi aku mbadhek sampeyan sik ono sing lali maneh ” jare Bunali.
“Gak mungkin !! Lali opone…?” Wonokairun bingung,
“Laopo sampeyan mancal becak? Lha bronpite endhi?”

bbm group: IKA ITS PTSP
shared by om ‘Yat
my note: I’m so curious with mbah wonokairun ^^

guyonan suroboyo

Wonokairun & Bunali – Bon bin

Wonokairun sir-siran nang Bon Bin, dhadhak pethukan maneh ambek Brudin dhodholan es gronjong.

“Coca cola loro Cak!” jare Wonokairun.
“Aku gak ndhuwe Coca Cola Mbah, modalku cilik, durung cukup gae kulak coca cola.  Es gronjong ae yo, tak jamin sueger Mbah” jare Brudin.
“Aku ngomong ambek wong sing ndhuwe rombong nang mburimu.” jare Wonokairun.

Oooh uawas kon yo, Brudin nggondhok.

Mari muter-muter dhodholan es gronjong, Brudin pethukan maneh ambek Wonokairun lagi guyon ambek gendhakane.

“Oo!! Pancene gak nggenah!!! Wingi anake dhewe disikat, saiki bojone koncone arep disikat pisan.  Wis tuwek petakilan” jare Brudin.
“He!! Kon lek ngomong ojok sembarangan lho yo!!! Tak suantap lambemu!!! Sing wingi nyikat anake dhewe iku lho sopo!!!.  Iki yo dhudhuk bojone koncoku, arek iki wis rondo, sak umur-umur gak tau ndelok bon bin, mulakno tak jak nglencer!!” Wonokairun mencak-mencak gak trimo.
‎​”Aku ngomong ambek bedhes tuwek nang mburimu…” jare Brudin.

bbm group: IKA ITS PTSP
shared by om ‘Yat
my note: suroboyo banget!!

guyonan suroboyo

Wonokairun & Bunali – penumpang becak

Isuk-isuk Wonokairun wis mruput mancal becak golek penumpang.
Mari ngono oleh penumpang cewek uayu ambune wangi rambute teles mari kramas, Wonokairun sueneng poll.

“Arep nang endhi Ning?” jare Wonokairun.
“Nang slompretan mbah..” jare ceweke.
“Waduh gak weruh aku nggone ning..” jare Wonokairun.
“Wis mbah pokoke sampeyan mancal ae nurut komandoku..” jare ceweke.
“Oke boss..” jare Wonokairun ambek mbukak terpal becake, karepe ben iso ngrasakno mambu wangi rambute cewek iku.

“Kiri mbah..” Wonokairun nurut menggok kiwo.
“Kanan mbah..”  Wonokairun nurut menggok kanan.
“Kanan maneh..” Wonokairun nurut.
“Kiri.” “Kanan…” “Kenceng ae mbah..” “Kanan maneh…terus kiri “
Wonokairun nurut ae sing penting iso ndelok gegere ceweke ayu iku.

“Wis stop kene ae Mbah!!” moro-moro ceweke mbengok ambek ngekeki dhuwik limang ewu.
Wonokairun nuangis mbrebes mili.
“Lho opoko mbah, kurang tah, iki lho tak tambahi maneh.” jare ceweke ambek ngekeki dhuwik sepuluh ewu.
Wonokairun sik nuangis ae.
“Sepurane yo mbah, sik kurang tah, iki lho tak tambahi maneh..”  jare ceweke ambek ngekeki dhuwik seket ewu.
Wonokairun sik nuangis ae.
“Waduh mbah sampeyan njaluk piro? Age ngomongo.” ceweke bingung.
“Ning aku nuangis gak perkoro dhuwike kurang..” jare Wonokairun.
“Lho opoko mbah?” jare ceweke.
“Aku lali dalane mulih…”

bbm group: IKA ITS PTSP
shared by om ‘Yat
my note: I think this is the most hilarious for me 😀